Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Do you think most people would rather be a certain race or are most people happy with the race they are?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How could Trump, with his deplorable garbage supporters, manage to win an election?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I see through liars

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I Tasted 7 Chocolate Ice Creams and One Was a Clear Winner - Eat This Not That

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

"It Seems Like Science Fiction”: Researchers Unleash Breakthrough Tracking Technology Using Environmental DNA - The Debrief

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What does it mean if you dream your dad died?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Is it common for people to fall in love with someone else while still married? If so, why do they choose to stay in their marriage?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read

Elon Musk threatened to decommission Dragon spacecraft. Here's what that would mean for NASA - ABC News

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Shane Bieber Suffers Potential Setback In Elbow Rehab - MLB Trade Rumors

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Top Red Sox prospect Roman Anthony hits 497-foot grand slam, longer than any HR in MLB this season - Yahoo Sports

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What are the beliefs of those who think climate change is a conspiracy theory? What do they predict will happen if we do not address it?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Geologists Just Cracked Open a 500-Million-Year Mystery in the Grand Canyon — What They Found Is Rewriting Earth’s History - Indian Defence Review

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Doritos, Cheetos, M&Ms and other popular snacks will soon have warning labels in Texas - KHOU

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What are some mind-blowing facts about Michael Jackson?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is it like to be the slave in a mistress-slave relationship?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for traitorism

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.